The ENGAGE project (Project Number: 2024-1-IT02-KA220-SCH-000249540) has been co-funded by the European Union. Views and opinions expressed are however those of the author(s) only and do not necessarily reflect those of the European Union or the European Education and Culture Executive Agency (EACEA).
Ileana is a 12-year-old girl navigating school life in the absence of her parents, who have been working abroad for the past two years. Raised now by her grandmother, Ileana lives in a household where material needs are met, but emotional presence is scarce. Though loved, she is not truly seen. The emotional gap left by her parents' departure has shaped not just her demeanor, but also her capacity to engage with school, friendships, and herself.
At school, Ileana is compliant and respectful, yet often unnoticed — she keeps to herself, avoids participation, and blends into the background. Her teachers describe her as someone with potential but lacking the confidence or sense of purpose to express it. Only through creative outlets such as drawing or music does a trace of her inner world emerge.
Ileana’s story is not one of rebellion or conflict, but rather one of quiet emotional neglect — a growing absence that isn’t loud but still deeply felt. The long-distance connection with her parents, sustained through brief, logistical phone calls, reinforces her internal message: her emotional needs are less urgent than others’ practical ones.
This case study explores the invisible toll of family separation on children like Ileana — those who are not failing, not misbehaving, but slowly disengaging. It highlights the subtle signs of disconnection, the cultural and structural gaps in support, and the urgent need for meaningful intervention rooted in empathy, expression, and sustained adult presence.
The educational team's assessment of Ileana's behavior clearly highlighted the student's disengagement: her withdrawal from group work, her lack of connection with her peers and teachers, the emotional burden affecting her academic motivation, her lack of initiative, and the limited involvement of her parents who were abroad.
A proactive approach would promote better management of her behavior, which could lead to reduced anxiety, better classroom participation, and a strengthening of the teacher-student bond through trust.
Elena's psychological distress (emotional stress) and her family environment (distance from her parents) were considered by the educational team. The psychological distress linked to the absence of her parents affects Ileana's behavior in class and worries the teaching team because it reduces her self-confidence and fluency in oral expression, for example
Some keywords: Parental Separation / Parents Working Abroad, Emotional Disconnection, Family Disengagement, School Apathy, Low Self-Esteem
Classroom Observations
Monitoring Ileana’s verbal participation, engagement in group activities, and response to different subjects.
Counselor Well-Being Log
Ongoing behavioral and emotional notes compiled during one-on-one meetings. Monitoring signs of anxiety, detachment, and coping behaviors over time.
Informal Interviews
Conversations with Ileana conducted in a safe, low-pressure setting to understand her internal state and perceptions of school and family.
Caregiver Interview (Grandmother)
Structured discussion about home environment, routines, family dynamics, and communication with parents abroad.
Academic Records Review
Analysis of attendance, grades, assignment completion, and overall academic progression since the parents’ departure.
Teacher Feedback and Reporting
Gathering observations from subject teachers on her participation, responsiveness, strengths, and areas of concern.
Student
"My parents are far away. We talk on Sundays. I just do my work and hope no one notices me. I get nervous in class when everyone is watching."
Teachers
"She follows instructions, but never raises her hand. It’s like she’s waiting for the day to end. There’s ability there, but no confidence or curiosity anymore."
School Leaders
"She behaves well. I try to help, but she doesn’t ask for much. Her parents send money, but they aren’t involved with school. I did what I could—I didn’t go far in school myself."
Parents
"The emotional absence left by her parents is deep. She would benefit from consistent emotional support and a channel to express what she holds in. Structured art or narrative work may help her connect."
Family impact, peer influence, and environment are topics addressed within the educational community. Personal factors are also considered, but parental disengagement and psychological distress constitute a barrier to assessment.
The educational community monitored the student and collected data on his behavior and signs of anxiety and disengagement. Conversations were conducted in a safe and relaxed setting to better understand the student's psychology and perception of the school and family. Interviews with Ileana's caregiver (the grandmother) were also organized to gain a better understanding of the student's relationships with the parents and lifestyle. The educational team is aware that the student needs emotional support, but the distance from the parents and the limited academic support from the tutor hinder the effectiveness of the system implemented by the school.